Here is one borrowed joke I modified. Most pilots are known to be sharp and well trained in handling the most critical situations.
A pilot and his wife went shopping at a mall most of the afternoon. Suddenly, his wife noticed her husband "disappeared". Angered and irrate, she calls him on the cellphone and screamed --Where the hell are you?
He calmly replied -- Darling, do you remember that jewelry shop where you saw a diamond studded necklace you so fell in love with but I didn't have money at that time to buy it for you?
The wife quipped -- Uh huh yes dear.
The pilot added -- And I promised you it will be yours one day?
The wife smiling and blushing with anxiety and excitement said -- Oh wonderful, yes yes I do remember that my sweetest one!
The husband replied -- Well, since you asked dear, I'm in the bar next to that jewelry shop.